Not what I wanted to post

Well, this is not the post I was working on for my Happy New 2010 post...that will have to come later as Lily was admitted to the hospital over the weekend.

We've been traveling for the holidays and she started off with a cough and low grade fever. This persisted and the coughing got increasingly worse over a couple of days. One night her breathing seemed rapid to me and again her low grade temp was still hanging around. We took her to the ER and they looked her over and made a clinical diagnosis of the flu and sent us home with Tamiflu.

This ER experience was much better than my previous experience when I first brought Zoe in with her initial symptoms which were very similar to what was going on with Lily. That particular doctor said "Why are you here? She has a cold, give her Motrin." We all know now how that worked out for us! These doctors were very different. I told them immediately about what happened with Zoe so they would understand and hopefully be a little more sensitive than those previous doctors. Their reaction was much different. They said "Eventhough she is an overall healthy 3 year old we still consider her high risk and would like to put her on Tamiflu as a precaution. If anything changes at all please bring her back." Their treatment of my concern was so much different and I felt confident they had evaluated her thoroughly.

The next day she got increasingly worse throughout the day. The coughing was non-stop, she was very lethargic in the late afternoon, she stopped eating and drinking, the low grade temp would not go away, and then she started breathing irregularly. So we went again in the middle of the night to the ER. They did a chest xray, bloodwork and EKG which all came back normal. Since they could not pinpoint the cause of her respiratory status they decided to keep her for evaluation and to make sure she stayed hydrated. So, here we are, day 2 in the hospital. She's needed a bit of oxygen support and fluids. My husband, who was back home last week working, drove 12 hours straight through to get to us. He was able to stay with her last night so I could come back and spend some time with Avery, who, as you can imagine, is a little distraught about not having her mommy, daddy, or sister around. Thankfully we're with family so when I need to be at the hospital she is in kind and loving hands. She was pretty happy when she realized I came back last night and has definitely had a little pep in her step this morning.

The doctors have not yet rounded on Lily but my husband said she had a good night, slept fairly well and they are trying her off the oxygen this morning. I'm not sure that she's had anything to eat or drink yet. Yesterday when her dinner tray came with her two favorite things...mac and cheese and chicken nuggets...she said "No! I don't want anything!" I told her the doctor wanted her to eat and drink so we could go home. She ate a tiny macaroni and took a teeny sip of water and said "I'm ready to go home now." Cute but oh so pitiful when I had to gently explain that she had to eat and drink a bit more than that.

So....we thank you for all of your prayers. This is all too familiar territory for us. I know Lily is stronger and older than Zoe was, but at the same time I now feel like I'm living in the flashbacks that I've battled for the last 22 months. I wish I didn't know as much as I did sometimes. I wish I didn't know how quickly stable can turn into critical. And I'm trying so hard to remember the things I "wish" I had done or said when we went through Zoe's ordeal so that I don't end up with even more regrets.

Lily is in very good, competent, and capable hands at a top notch children's hospital and I do feel confident she'll be back home soon. I'll post another update when I know more.