3 months

It has been three months since our angel went to Heaven. I think I'll plant her flowers tomorrow and whisper prayers of love into the Earth for her to receive as the morning glories grow.

I miss her terribly. Her sweet smile, her raspy giggle, her pudgy tummy, her tiny feet, her thick curly hair, her knowing looks, her wide open mouth when she was truly, truly thrilled with something, her little bity hands that always curled up near her mouth when she slept, the way she smelled after a bath, and oh how she loved her bath! I miss watching her read books, I miss playing peek-a-boo (her favorite game of all time), I miss being with Ms. Linda at the Speech School and sharing her joy in Zoe's progress, I miss our visits with Ms. Peggy from Lekotek who still comes all the way to see us, but whose visits seem like something is missing...because she is. I miss watching her watch her sisters as they play and climb on top and over her, I miss watching her taking part in "steal the paci" an ongoing game among the three, I miss seeing her face light up when her Daddy walks in the room, I miss seeing her wave bye-bye to Mema, Mimi, or Namo, I miss those funny little things she'd do with her lips and tongue after her oral stim exercises, I miss watching her play with her food, I miss seeing her delight in discovering a new toy, I miss snuggling with her on the floor, the sofa, or the bed, I miss watching her roll back and forth and back and forth all over the playroom, I miss watching her grab her toes (when she left the NICU we were trying to get her to realize she had feet!). I miss dressing her in cute dresses with bows in her hair and tiny little shoes, I miss having three daughters in the flesh, I miss kissing her fat cheeks, I miss rubbing noses with her, I miss the soft feel of her skin, I miss the treatments and the meds...because I felt like I was making a difference in her life, I miss dreaming about her future. I miss her so much.


Anonymous said...

First let me say God bless you and your family. My best friend has surviving quints and tomorrow is the 3 yr. anniversary of "Our Angels" death. I have read your blogs and my heart weeps for you. I pray that with time your pain decreases. Please know that through your pain God is using you to speak to many people. People who have lost children and those who haven't. People who read about your family and realize God IS Good and realize no one knows how long we will be on this earth and learn to never take their family for granted. Please let this be a source of joy for you. Also know that I will be praying for you and your beautiful family.

God Bless you all,


McTriplet Mommy said...

Continued prayers for you and your family. Thinking about you guys.

Take care,

Denise Wheeler said...

I am sorry it has been so long since I checked in. You are still continually in my prayers. I don't think I ever told you but your slide show of Zoe is beautiful. I love watching it.

All time favorite video of Zoe!

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Bible verses that comfort me

"Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord."
~ 2 Corinthians 5:8

"Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children....Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them"
~ Mark10:14 & 10:16

"...those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint"~ Isaiah40:31