We have been completely overwhelmed with the phone calls, letters, blog posts, obit posts, flowers, and contributions that have been pouring our way. So many people have asked what they can do to help...keep in touch with us, don't forget Zoe or that sparkle in her eyes, hug your kids everyday, and live your best "Zoe life." Don't be afraid to contact us, we are grieving and will be for the rest of our lives, but the love and support we have felt these last few days is what will help us learn to live with this incredible loss.
My online-triplet-mom-blogging community is very far-reaching, moreso than I ever imagined. You can visit Triple Take , The Life and Times of the McTriplets , ...And Babies Make Five! , Four Silly Sisters , and My Perky Ovaries for some very kind and loving words of support for us and our little girl. There is also a memorial notice on the MOST (Mothers of Supertwins) website.
The memorial service was absolutely beautiful. We decided to hold it at a funeral home in their chapel and Richard and I planned the whole service down to the main floral arrangements. Our dear, dear friend Jason gave the sermon, our niece wrote a poem read by my sister, and two good friends read Psalm 121 and a letter written by Richard and I. I will post the text from the service along with the music and a slideshow in the next couple of days so that those of you that could not attend the service can feel as if you were there. The chapel was filled to the max with family and friends and a huge turnout from Northside Hospital, Zoe's first home. Everyone wore wonderful, beautiful colors...it was a true celebration of her life, just like we wanted.
I am only just starting to process this loss and I know I'm still in shock...our house is filled with the constant chatter of Avery and Lily and yet the silence in our house is deafening. I don't feel whole anymore...a huge chunk of me is gone in flesh. So many try to comfort with words like "she's happy in heaven" "she is an angel that was here on earth for a purpose" "her great grandparents are taking care of her now" "she can run free without any wires or tubes" and on and on and on...and yes, this does help to know that she's happy and loved and completely free, but it will never change the fact that I want her here, with us, now. I want another hug, I want to stroke her hair again, kiss her big fat cheeks, smell her after her bath...I want to see her learn to crawl and then to walk, to start to enjoy eating by mouth, I want to see what her hair will look like when the curls grow long, I want to see the first painting she does, to find out what sports she likes, if she'll want to dance or do gymnastics, will she like english or science or math, will she like chocolate like her dad or fruit tarts like her mom, will she want a dog or cat or a hamster for a pet? There are so many things I wonder that I'll never know.
I pray each night that she'll visit me in my dreams and that she'll visit, Richard and Avery and Lily so we can continue our lives together as a family of 5. Please don't forget us, don't be afraid to reach out, we need the support, we need the love, and please, please always live your very best "Zoe life."
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20 comments:
Sending you love from Dallas...keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....
Keira,
I admire your strength and honesty and I wish there were words to make it ok. I want to thank you for sharing your real feelings with us and to remind us to live our very best "Zoe life". I will never forget Zoe and I will remind JT of her often. Your family has touched us and our hearts ache for you. Thank you for sharing your journal and letting us grieve with you.
Jill Skurtovich
I was directed here from another site. I have read all about your gorgeous, brave Zoe and wanted to say how very sorry I am.
I'm a bereaved mother myself but don't pretend to understand how you feel, nor can I think there is ever a reason for this. I won't tell you cliches or that it will all be ok. I do though from one mother to another offer you my ears and heart.
I understand and still feel like a great chunk of me is missing and nothing I have done in life has been harder than this grief journey. I wish you much peace and understanding on this road. Zoe will never be forgotten.
T
You're incredible. All the best.
i love you keira. i will try and live my life the way zoe lived hers. all five of you will always be inside my heart no matter how far away i may be.
love and kisses,
auntie nomi
Dear Keira -
I am a member of Atlanta Triplets and More which is where I first heard about Zoe. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family during this difficult time. May you have strength to get through the heartache and remember dear, sweet Zoe. Thank you for sharing your story.
Regards,
Whitney
"you're best Zoe Life".. I love this.. So perfect and so true. Many of us are at just a loss of words although, i hope that you can "feel" us thinking of your and praying that you are ok and hoping that someday the pain will lessen just a little. I can't wait to see the memorial.
You will "always" be a mother to triplets. 2 on earth and 1 in heaven!
Keira, Ever since I received the note home in my son's book bag from the Hamm Center at the Speech School, I have kept you and your family in my prayers. I find my thoughts drifting to you and praying for your peace and comfort. I am a mother of 4 year old twins, both attending the Atlanta Speech School. I couldn't begin to say that I understand the hole in your soul left by Zoe's passing.
Much love, prayers, and thoughts are coming your way from our home to yours. Your wisdom and advice is life changing . . . Zoe provides a wonderful example to all of us to live more fully and to love with our hearts wide open. Thank you so much for sharing Zoe's life with us.
With love, Caroline Hinton
I stumbled upon your blog as a twin mom myself and was so deeply touched by your beautiful, precious Zoe. I can not imagine how much your family is hurting, and no words will ease the pain I am sure. Zoe's spirit will live on in those two other beautiful girls you brought into the world. She has touched so many, even those she never met. Because of your story, I realized how much I take for granted every day. My boys have autism, and there are so many ups and downs...but seeing the strength of you, and beautiful Zoe inspires me to keep going. God Bless your family. You are in our prayers, and thoughts.
NJ Twin Mommy.
My best friend is the Four Silly Sisters Mom...You've been and will be in my thought and prayers. that is little consolation but know people are out there thinking of you.
I have never posted before, but just wanted to let you know that our family holds yours in our hearts. Zoe has touched our lives and we will continue to remember her by living our "best Zoe life." You are definitely in our prayers.
You are an awesome and strong woman! I haven't been in the Raising Multiples group long but your loss is felt even across the computer into a home of people you don't even really know! Keep posting and updating. Your story is amazing and I pray that you will be able to share and comfort others someday.
Thank you and God bless you all. I know Zoe was loved and will be forever missed.
Your story is so amazing. Your family is in my prayers. Zoe will never be forgotten, she has touched so many lives of strangers as well as those who knew her. Just keep posting, one day Avery and Lily will appreciate having the post about their beautiful triplet sister Zoe.
Leann
Many hugs to you all from Hickory NC. I hope one day those hugs can be given in person. Keira, I ache for you dear one. Thank you for your beautiful words & your honesty...you are changing the world. There couldn't be a more amazing thing that a person can do...you are leaving a legacy with the lives you are touching. Always!
Just thinking of all five of you--in sadness, with hope for some Zoe smiles today, and with lots of love.
Nancy
To Keira, Richard, Avery, Lily and all your wonderful extended family,
Thank you so much for the honor and privilege of working with Zoe these past five months. I miss her terribly and cannot imagine the loss you are feeling. You must know that I will NEVER forget her. I wake up every day and look at that beautiful photograph of her you gave me and smile at all the wonderful memories I have with her. I love you all very much and sincerely appreciate you sharing your lives and your family with me.
Love,
Susan, PT
Keira,
You are the strongest momma. I am so blessed to be in your presence. We will remember Zoe Rose, and the blessing that she poured out on us.
Our prayers are with you,
Kimberly and the GA Guinn Trips
www.guinnfamilyhome.com
Keira,
I'm really glad to see you posting again. Thank you for sharing Zoe's memorial service with those of us not able to attend. Your honesty and strength will always be an inspiration to me. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
K - I pray for your family every night. It brings a smile to my face to know that Zoe is happy, healthy, without tubes, monitors and sickness in heaven.... and many tears to my eyes that she isn't here to grow up with her mommy, daddy and two "big" sisters.
Thinking of you,
Kara
We are thinking of you all each passing day and sending our love and prayers with every thought! We love and treasure our friendship deeply and will be here for you both with each new step. Your courage and your stength amaze me and others as well. Keep it up- Keep fighting the fight, not only for your "Warrior Princess" but for yourselves, your beautiful family and Zoe's very special sisters! Hugs and Kisses to you ALL!!
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