I'm a human after all

Ah, Richard...my one and only, my beloved husband who sticks by me no matter how ornery, stubborn, or just plain crazy I get. He knows exactly how to make me smile...he came home Friday night and said ok, tomorrow you are going shopping with Todd to find something to wear to the RSI holiday party (that night)...here's the cash, go have fun, eat sushi, buy something nice and meet me at 6:30pm. I was stunned...what? I don't have baby duty? I get to go out for an entire afternoon - plus the dinner? I get to see one of my best friends in the whole world? He had already called Todd to make sure he was available and told him to make sure I had fun. I was giddy, I was shocked, I almost felt guilty for being so excited to get out. But then again, when a new friend of mine recently asked if I get to see my friends much...I thought, you know, except for Sondae who works with me, I haven't seen most of my friends in over a year. The last time I saw most of them was at one our baby showers in November of '06! In fact, today, one year ago Dr. Korotkin saved my babies' lives by admitting me to the hospital. A lot has happened in a year...more on that later, let's get back to my day of F-U-N!!!

So I leave the house around lunch time and meet Todd at Phipps (a mall I rarely shopped in ever b/c most of the stores are very nice, I'm usually a Target or Old Navy kind of gal these days) and head straight for Intimacy - the bra fitting specialists. You see, a pregnancy, especially a high order multiple pregnancy wrecks havoc on your body inside and out. I've heard of some high order moms who have to get internal reconstructive surgery to repair damage to their organs. I know when I was pregnant my stomach would growl and it up under my mid ribs on the left. And when the docs would do ultrasounds it always took a while for them to locate my right ovary. Well...let me tell you about the OUTSIDE of the body. It's really not a pretty thing these days. In the 25 weeks I was pregnant I gained 88 pounds - I weighed 198 the day I gave birth. I have stretch marks in places I never thought I'd have stretch marks...my ankles, the backs of my knees, and pretty much my entire torso from my armpits down to my thighs. My previous size 0 body has love handles, saddlebags, and a very saggy belly. Bikinis are definitely a thing of the past. I've had to change the style of clothing I wear because what I used to wear is no longer flattering. This is really hard to accept sometimes...and other times I marvel at what this body did, survived, and overcame. It served me well and it served my girls well...which I guess is why you don't see me pounding the pavement, hitting the stairmaster or even going to a yoga class...while I do complain about my body, I guess I'm not too upset with it. Anyway...the main thing I am upset with is my bustline. I went from a very nice 34 C pre-pregnancy to a 38 F (yes that really is a size) right after my milk came in to a size that I didn't really know. I kept trying bra after bra after bra trying to find something that worked. No luck. So, here was my chance to have the bra fitting specialists figure out what to do with me.

This wonderful older woman named Kathryn helped me, she told me she had twins and her stomach still looks just like mine. She said "the problem dear is that all your volume and weight is down here (pointing rather low), we need to lift the girls up". I adored Kathryn, and she did what she said she would..."it's not just about the fit, it's about the shape" she taught me a few "tricks" to get the "girls" to do what I need them to do to achieve the proper support and lift and she found my current size 32 DDD...WHAT????????????? How in the world is that? Is that really a size? Yes, unfortunately it is.

Well...after finally finding the proper comfortable "foundation garments" it was off to the stores with Todd. For those of you who don't know Todd...I hope you have the chance to meet him one day. He has never met a stranger and can make you laugh harder than you've ever laughed in your life. We go back about 10 years now to my early days at Dilger Gibson when I was fresh out of design school. He and I were the lowest on the totem pole and I think the time we truly bonded was at the end of a very large installation. We had been there for two grueling weeks, the house was still under construction, we were moving in over $1 million dollars worth of furniture and the last 48 hours we didn't sleep...literally, we were at the house for 48 hours straight. Our boss did the walk through with the clients...we made ourselves scarce...and then our boss stormed out of the house and said "we're taking everything out, we're taking it all back" OMG! Todd and I looked at eachother, sat on the front steps and both of us wanted to burst into tears but were too shocked and tired to do anything but stare. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that was the moment that bonded us for life...or maybe it was that rainy Saturday afternoon we spent alphabetizing Elton's books, all 10,000 or so of them....hmmmmm.

So, Todd, also known as Aunt Tab proprietor of Tab's Treasures for your Trailer (not really, he's actually an exceptionally creative and excellent designer) who has been a constant support and source of laughter for me for many years. Today, he played stylist to my very insecure, unsure of my body, don't feel the least bit sexy, usually look pretty frumpy, hardly ever showers self...and he worked magic! i was all intimidated walking through the stores, you see I literally have not been shopping anywhere other than Old Navy, Target, or Baby Gap in over a year...I don't read fashion magazines anymore, I have no idea what's "hot" right now. We were just about to give up and head to Filene's Basement when one dress caught our eye, both of us stopped at the same time...we walked in to Elie Tahari grabbed 4 dresses, some slacks and some shoes...and dress #3 was it!!! I love this dress! I love it I love it I love it!!!! We got two different shoes to go with it that I can also just wear with jeans and then it was off to the makeup counters at Nordstrom. This great little girl did my makeup for me at the Bobbi Brown counter, Todd found earrings for me and since we couldn't bribe the receptionist at Carter Barnes to get someone to iron my hair - Todd said he'd do it. So he left to heat up the iron while I paid for my new makeup - if I'm not buying shoes I'm buying makeup.

I get to his condo and he's got a wonderful Chardonnay poured in the finest of blue Solo cups. I get dressed and Todd starts ironing away...we had so much fun! He even joked that he may get out of decorating and go into hairdressing. Well, let me tell you - I felt like my old self again. I was never terribly chic in my pre-pregnancy days, but I think I had some sense of style...this has all since gone by the wayside...but tonight, I looked like myself again, only a little more grown up, a little more sophisticated version of myself. I looked like the chic mama I always wanted to be. I know some out there will scoff at the idea that such superficial things like hair, makeup, a new dress, etc shouldn't make you happy...but you know what it really was, more than the hair and the makeup? It was spending an afternoon with a really wonderful friend who helped bring out the real me again. Not the me that gets mired in baby poop and spit up and starts to not care that she hasn't showered in three days - but the me who takes pride in my body and in myself.

So...thank you Richard, my darling darling husband for allowing me the time to not worry about the kiddos, thank you Todd for spending a wonderful afternoon with me, and thank you to Mimi, Namo and Shernell for taking care of the babies in the evening so Richard and I could have a night amongst adults. There were some pictures taken, I just have to wait for someone to email one to me and then I'll post it.