Z had her ph probe test earlier this week which showed reflux but not severe so she will NOT need the fundoplication (yea!). She will still get her G-tube which will probably happen in a couple of weeks. Will update more later...babies crying.....okay, it's a few days later and I'm back.
Z has done some amazing things in the last few days, she has taken a 20 cc bottle with her dad and she has breastfed with me for 10 minutes! We are so proud of her. No one expected her to be able to do much in the way of oral feedings, but true to form she has continues to surprise us all! She will get transferred over to the Children's Hospital early next week for her G-tube surgery, bronchoscopy, and hearing aid fittings. She should only be there a few days and then she'll get taken back to Northside where she will stay until she is discharged. I hate that she has to have any procedures especially because she will have to be under general anesthesia and she'll have to be back on the ventilator, which is so uncomfortable. I am hopeful that they will be able to wean her off the vent as fast as possible, I don't know the doctors and nurses at Scottish Rite and I have grown so comfortable and accustomed to the docs and nurses at Northside that I am wary of her being there for too long. They don't know her the way the Northside folks know her, so Richard or I will have to stay with her at all times to make sure she is being properly attended to.
I can't wait until she comes home...I am starting to get antsy again. It comes in waves, at the beginning I was antsy because there was no known timeframe or if they would even survive. But then, as the weeks passed and the girls either improved or remained stable I settled into the routine of the daily visits, talks with the docs, etc and I accepted that it would be a few months and this was my life at the moment. And then they started to get better and bigger and there is talk of going home, and I can see that light at the end of the tunnel and I have visions of home with my babies. Every day I wake up and think" oh gosh, here we go again, one more day of this and still no discharge day". I get lost in my daydreams of waking up in the morning with all my girls under my roof so we can all snuggle in the warm sheets or kick back on the sofa and watch SportsCenter with dad....I'm growing impatient it's been so long. Six and a half months!
Again, I am reminded over and over just how special these girls are. They are just incredible, when I think back to when they were born, the state of their health at that time and the fact that they needed 15 more weeks inside my womb! It is astonishing - they are amazing, so strong, so brave, and all this in such tiny, cute little packages! I just love them so much, my heart is full to the point of bursting, I feel this love that has overtaken my body and it is by far the most wonderful feeling in the world.
So, back to Z's medical report - all in all she's been doing well, she's still bouncing between 1 1/2 and 2 liters on her nasal canula which, once she recovers from the g-tube that's the only thing that will keep her in the hospital. As soon as she can get down to 1/2 liter and not need to be turned up she can come on HOME!! We've also learned that Z likes Brazilian music - yes, she does have severe to profound hearing loss, but we still don't know exactly what she can hear. So, Dr. Manar was rounding on her and had her in her lap while she was charting and Z got a little fussy, so Dr. Manar pulled out her Treo and turned up the volume and put the music to Z's ear with some great, beat heavy Brazilian music. She said Z looked like she was listening to it and smiled several times through three songs until she said she'd had enough. I was thrilled to share this news with Monica (Noah's mom) and she said she'd make a cd for me. I'll have to add it to Z's cd collection along with the Baby Mozart :)
I think Z may just be the most popular baby in the NICU - everyone knows her and everyonw stops by to talk to her and check on her. She is so social and if you're trying to do some kind of developmental work with her but someone stops by to say hello, she stays focused on the visitor, not her exercises. I am so proud of her, so full or admiration for my little baby who has already taught me so much about faith and love. Keep her in your prayers next week. I'll update everyone once we get through it.
6.29.2007
Adventures of the sleep deprived
At least I can laugh and write about this now.... our current feeding schedule for the girls at home is the following: Avery takes a bottle at 9am, 1pm, 5pm, and 9pm and then is hooked up to her continuous tube feeding from 11pm to 6 or 6:30am to make sure she gets her total daily volume. Lily takes bottles at 9am, 1pm, 4:30pm, 8pm, and 11:30pm and then gets her tube feedings from 1:30am to 6:30am. So, my typical schedule is to get Avery hooked up to her feeding tube then get Lily ready and give her the last bottle. I will then wash my pump parts, mix the formula for the next day, dose out their medications, and pump which gets me in bed around 1:30am when I turn on Lily's feeding pump. We have to add milk to the bags at the four hour mark because breastmilk can not sit out at room temp for longer than four hours.
This particular night we started Avery's tube feeding early, forgoing the 4th bottle, because she had a rough day in terms of feeding so this meant that new milk would need to be added at 2:30. So....I slept from 1:30 to 2:30, woke up, albeit a bit dizzy and went to the fridge got the bottles to pour in the bags (I decided to go ahead and add to Lily's bag since it would be four hours when we shut the pumps off). I came back, poured the milk into Lily's bag and then grabbed Avery's bottle and dumped it on top of (not into) the bag...I forgot to open the bag so milk when spewing everywhere! I cursed a bit, in a hushed tone so as not to wake the babes or Richard...turned on the bathroom light so I could see how bad the mess was and saw that it had luckily only gone on the side of the sheet. I was not going to wake the kiddos up to change the sheet if they weren't lying in it so I went back to the kitchen mixed up some more milk, grabbed a roll of paper towels...OPENED the feeding bag and pushed start.
When I heard the pump start moving I looked over and realized that Lily's pump was oddly quiet...the light on the pump wasn't on...I had forgotten to turn it on an hour ago. Ok, no worries, it's only been three hours since her bottle so she couldn't be starving. Push start..then back to bed.
At 4:30 I hear Lily making some noises - we are acutely in tune to noises coming from the crib because if the feeding tube slips out (due to a spit up, a sneeze, a cough, or a hand rubbing the nose) the milk can be entering their lungs instead of their stomach, not a good scenario. So, I hear Lily squirming and making noise, I get up and look down to see that the sheet is quite dark under her head...I had turned her pump on but had forgotten to hook her up to it so there she is lying in what amounted to two ounces of breastmilk! More hushed cursing then I shake Richard awake to hold the babies while I proceed to change the sheet. He groggily looks at me like I'm a crazy woman from outerspace who has invaded his bedroom then snuggles up to the girls and falls back asleep, Avery curled in his arm, Lily on his belly. It is then that I realize that Lily has now not eaten in five hours and the two hours left on her pump won't give her much very quickly.
I walk to the kitchen, mix up a bottle, take her from Richard and the poor girl downs it in her sleep. So at 5:00am I crawl back into bed only to be awakened at 6:00am because now Abby is hungry and needs to go outside. Richard sleepwalks to the laundry room, feeds the dog and comes back to bed at 6:15. The alarm goes off at 6:30 reminding us to turn Avery's pump off and then another alarm at 7:00 because we have a morning appointment with the speech school for Zoe. What a night!!!
This particular night we started Avery's tube feeding early, forgoing the 4th bottle, because she had a rough day in terms of feeding so this meant that new milk would need to be added at 2:30. So....I slept from 1:30 to 2:30, woke up, albeit a bit dizzy and went to the fridge got the bottles to pour in the bags (I decided to go ahead and add to Lily's bag since it would be four hours when we shut the pumps off). I came back, poured the milk into Lily's bag and then grabbed Avery's bottle and dumped it on top of (not into) the bag...I forgot to open the bag so milk when spewing everywhere! I cursed a bit, in a hushed tone so as not to wake the babes or Richard...turned on the bathroom light so I could see how bad the mess was and saw that it had luckily only gone on the side of the sheet. I was not going to wake the kiddos up to change the sheet if they weren't lying in it so I went back to the kitchen mixed up some more milk, grabbed a roll of paper towels...OPENED the feeding bag and pushed start.
When I heard the pump start moving I looked over and realized that Lily's pump was oddly quiet...the light on the pump wasn't on...I had forgotten to turn it on an hour ago. Ok, no worries, it's only been three hours since her bottle so she couldn't be starving. Push start..then back to bed.
At 4:30 I hear Lily making some noises - we are acutely in tune to noises coming from the crib because if the feeding tube slips out (due to a spit up, a sneeze, a cough, or a hand rubbing the nose) the milk can be entering their lungs instead of their stomach, not a good scenario. So, I hear Lily squirming and making noise, I get up and look down to see that the sheet is quite dark under her head...I had turned her pump on but had forgotten to hook her up to it so there she is lying in what amounted to two ounces of breastmilk! More hushed cursing then I shake Richard awake to hold the babies while I proceed to change the sheet. He groggily looks at me like I'm a crazy woman from outerspace who has invaded his bedroom then snuggles up to the girls and falls back asleep, Avery curled in his arm, Lily on his belly. It is then that I realize that Lily has now not eaten in five hours and the two hours left on her pump won't give her much very quickly.
I walk to the kitchen, mix up a bottle, take her from Richard and the poor girl downs it in her sleep. So at 5:00am I crawl back into bed only to be awakened at 6:00am because now Abby is hungry and needs to go outside. Richard sleepwalks to the laundry room, feeds the dog and comes back to bed at 6:15. The alarm goes off at 6:30 reminding us to turn Avery's pump off and then another alarm at 7:00 because we have a morning appointment with the speech school for Zoe. What a night!!!
6.26.2007
Your know you're a parent of a preemie when.....
I got this off the Mothers of Supertwins Message board...it really hit home and made me a chuckle a few times to think of how different my experience with the infancy of my girls really is. Enjoy....
1. You use strange initials (C-PAP, CCs, NICU, NG) when discussing your child.
2. You actually remember how many CCs make up an ounce and have trouble converting to tsp measurements.
3. You count his/her weight in grams.
4. The skin on your hands is peeling from washing so often.
5. You hesitate when someone asks his/her age, but you know exactly how much he/she weighs. 6. The answer to "how old is your baby?" is 30 minutes long.
7. When someone asks his birthday, you reply "which one?"
8. You start to understand some of the things they say on ER.
9. You turn into Kung-Fu Mom when someone tries to touch your baby.
10. You attempt to measure just how much spit-up he/she just had before you clean it up.
11. You know how much he/she weighs before putting him/her on the scale at the doctor's office.
12. You cry at Maternity Ward and get mad at Baby Story.
13. You see a term newborn and say "Wow! She's so BIG!"
14. Your baby is months old before he can go to the mall.
15. You have never explained why your baby is on an apnea monitor.
1 6. When someone says how tiny your baby is, you argue that he is huge and to demonstrate you whip out pictures of him from the NICU.
17. You do a health check on people when they come to your house to visit.
18. You make people wash their hands before going near your child.
19. You want to scream when someone says that she just wants to have this baby now - at week 28, 32 or 34.
20. You are so amazed when someone actually tells you your baby is big for his age.
21. You tried to find a place to buy newborn size diapers in bulk.
22. You called half your relatives when the baby grew out of their first pair of pajamas.
23. You never take your child for granted.
24. You worry about RSV season and it is still weeks away....
25. You know what "RSV" stands for.
26. You donate his/her tiny clothes to the NICU and marvel that they seem so small - when they were too darn large.
27. Your son/daughter gets a simple cold and her doc sees her within the hour.
28. People say "He CAN"T be ___ old... he's too little!"
29. It has taken them 5 months to grow INTO newborn clothes.
30. You pick up 2 pounds of ground beef and think that your baby was born at the same (or less) weight.
31. You buy "Purell" in bulk.
32. You can stare at your baby for hours when he sleeps.
33. You know about oxygen tanks and regulators more than the company supplying it to the airplanes.
34. Your diaper bag is full of breastpump parts instead of diapers.
1. You use strange initials (C-PAP, CCs, NICU, NG) when discussing your child.
2. You actually remember how many CCs make up an ounce and have trouble converting to tsp measurements.
3. You count his/her weight in grams.
4. The skin on your hands is peeling from washing so often.
5. You hesitate when someone asks his/her age, but you know exactly how much he/she weighs. 6. The answer to "how old is your baby?" is 30 minutes long.
7. When someone asks his birthday, you reply "which one?"
8. You start to understand some of the things they say on ER.
9. You turn into Kung-Fu Mom when someone tries to touch your baby.
10. You attempt to measure just how much spit-up he/she just had before you clean it up.
11. You know how much he/she weighs before putting him/her on the scale at the doctor's office.
12. You cry at Maternity Ward and get mad at Baby Story.
13. You see a term newborn and say "Wow! She's so BIG!"
14. Your baby is months old before he can go to the mall.
15. You have never explained why your baby is on an apnea monitor.
1 6. When someone says how tiny your baby is, you argue that he is huge and to demonstrate you whip out pictures of him from the NICU.
17. You do a health check on people when they come to your house to visit.
18. You make people wash their hands before going near your child.
19. You want to scream when someone says that she just wants to have this baby now - at week 28, 32 or 34.
20. You are so amazed when someone actually tells you your baby is big for his age.
21. You tried to find a place to buy newborn size diapers in bulk.
22. You called half your relatives when the baby grew out of their first pair of pajamas.
23. You never take your child for granted.
24. You worry about RSV season and it is still weeks away....
25. You know what "RSV" stands for.
26. You donate his/her tiny clothes to the NICU and marvel that they seem so small - when they were too darn large.
27. Your son/daughter gets a simple cold and her doc sees her within the hour.
28. People say "He CAN"T be ___ old... he's too little!"
29. It has taken them 5 months to grow INTO newborn clothes.
30. You pick up 2 pounds of ground beef and think that your baby was born at the same (or less) weight.
31. You buy "Purell" in bulk.
32. You can stare at your baby for hours when he sleeps.
33. You know about oxygen tanks and regulators more than the company supplying it to the airplanes.
34. Your diaper bag is full of breastpump parts instead of diapers.
6.23.2007
For my girls a look back a look forward….June 20, 2006
Trembling hands legs gone numb I’ve lost my voice?
The cold OR the lights so bright, so many voices, the tugging, the pulling, that burning smell – no cries, no “look at your baby”
The tap on my shoulder, my name being called, over and over and louder and louder
Wait, where did you go? Did I just see one of my babies or was that a vision?
Okay you’re back, but I can’t tell are you happy? Is this a good day? Are they ok?
1,2,3, cross my arms about my chest now the lights are going by overhead
Are you ok? They ask? I’m warm, but something cuts across my middle, it hurts, my mind is cloudy
People come in and out of the curtain – who is that happy couple across the way? With their big baby that they hold and cuddle? Where are my babies? Are they ok?
I think it’s only been a short time but hours pass
The day and night come and go as one – where are my babies?
Another day and night – now…can I see my babies? Are they ok? Are you ok? I can’t tell – are you being strong so I won’t know they’re sick?
Which glass dome holds my baby keeping her warm and snug?
So tiny, so frail, are you in pain? Does it hurt to be so small? My eyes fill as does my heart – I’m afraid to start to love you, what if I can never know you? Close my eyes, open my heart – you are my child, you are my love, you are my life. Breathe in, breathe out, slowly, deeply – can you feel my breath? Can you feel my life? Let it enter into yours, join me…come with me. Can you feel my strength? You belong to me – you belong with me, you came from me please stay with me, please don’t leave me. Breathe in, breathe out…can you feel my breath?
My heart beats again…is yours beating too? Can my heart beat for yours? Can my body do the work yours must do? So helpless – what can I do? I can’t even touch you but through the glass…please feel my life, please feel my love…I need you.
The days go on…day 1, day 2, week 1, week 2, and then a month and then more…with each passing minute comes more hope for life …I can touch you now, hold you to my heart, sing in your ear
My love wraps around you, pouring into your tiny little body, afraid to kiss your sweet little head, will you get sick?
So tired, you need rest, sleep little one, relax, breathe, and grow.
You grow and grow, wait – when did you become a babe? You know me don’t you? You hold my finger, sleep in my arms, eyes twinkle at my voice…you’re coming home little one, you’re coming home.
You look at me with love in your eyes – do I deserve this? Do I deserve this complete devotion wrapped in your sweet, baby innocence?
Your life is in my hands. What happens to you happens to me, if you cry I feel the pain, if you laugh I feel the joy, you discover the world around you and I see it for the first time too. I will protect you … I will love you. You will know devotion and you will be safe. You will know truth and loyalty you will know freedom and strength. You will know love.
My precious gifts – I thank you, I thank you for choosing me to be your mother.
The cold OR the lights so bright, so many voices, the tugging, the pulling, that burning smell – no cries, no “look at your baby”
The tap on my shoulder, my name being called, over and over and louder and louder
Wait, where did you go? Did I just see one of my babies or was that a vision?
Okay you’re back, but I can’t tell are you happy? Is this a good day? Are they ok?
1,2,3, cross my arms about my chest now the lights are going by overhead
Are you ok? They ask? I’m warm, but something cuts across my middle, it hurts, my mind is cloudy
People come in and out of the curtain – who is that happy couple across the way? With their big baby that they hold and cuddle? Where are my babies? Are they ok?
I think it’s only been a short time but hours pass
The day and night come and go as one – where are my babies?
Another day and night – now…can I see my babies? Are they ok? Are you ok? I can’t tell – are you being strong so I won’t know they’re sick?
Which glass dome holds my baby keeping her warm and snug?
So tiny, so frail, are you in pain? Does it hurt to be so small? My eyes fill as does my heart – I’m afraid to start to love you, what if I can never know you? Close my eyes, open my heart – you are my child, you are my love, you are my life. Breathe in, breathe out, slowly, deeply – can you feel my breath? Can you feel my life? Let it enter into yours, join me…come with me. Can you feel my strength? You belong to me – you belong with me, you came from me please stay with me, please don’t leave me. Breathe in, breathe out…can you feel my breath?
My heart beats again…is yours beating too? Can my heart beat for yours? Can my body do the work yours must do? So helpless – what can I do? I can’t even touch you but through the glass…please feel my life, please feel my love…I need you.
The days go on…day 1, day 2, week 1, week 2, and then a month and then more…with each passing minute comes more hope for life …I can touch you now, hold you to my heart, sing in your ear
My love wraps around you, pouring into your tiny little body, afraid to kiss your sweet little head, will you get sick?
So tired, you need rest, sleep little one, relax, breathe, and grow.
You grow and grow, wait – when did you become a babe? You know me don’t you? You hold my finger, sleep in my arms, eyes twinkle at my voice…you’re coming home little one, you’re coming home.
You look at me with love in your eyes – do I deserve this? Do I deserve this complete devotion wrapped in your sweet, baby innocence?
Your life is in my hands. What happens to you happens to me, if you cry I feel the pain, if you laugh I feel the joy, you discover the world around you and I see it for the first time too. I will protect you … I will love you. You will know devotion and you will be safe. You will know truth and loyalty you will know freedom and strength. You will know love.
My precious gifts – I thank you, I thank you for choosing me to be your mother.
6.22.2007
Happy 6 Month Birthday Girls!!
I can hardly believe that we are the parents of three six month old baby girls! It still seems so surreal at times. I am happy to report that all is going well with each and every one of them. Z is still on 1 to 1 1/2 liters on her regular canula, her steroids are continuing to wean, and her sedation is almost gone - as the nurse said "it's just a drop". She got a GI consult and had a swallow study done. The doc wants her to have a ph probe on Monday which will monitor the severity of her reflux. If it is moderate to severe they will recommend an operation in which they wrap part of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus so that things can still go down, but nothing can come back up. Her neonatologist believes that the scarring on her left vocal chord could very well be from reflux in addition to being intubated for so long. He also said that if her reflux is not under control it could suppress the development of her lungs because when she refluxes she could be aspirating into her lungs thereby putting her at risk for developing an infection - something that she absolutely can NOT tolerate. So, we'll see what the ph probe tells us.
She was able to take a small bottle this week - the swallow study showed that she needs thickened feedings just like her sisters because she aspirated on thin liquids. Unfortunately I was not there for her first bottle, but I'll get to give her one soon I'm sure. OTPT said that her trunk control is imporving and she is even attempting to roll over when she's down on her floor mat. She had a few restless and fussy days this week which was due to the Reglan they put her on for reflux. I told them after the first day of her nurse telling me that Z was not herself that L had responded poorly to Reglan too - she became very irritable and did not sleep well. So, they dc'd the Reglan and her nurses report that she is back to her happy, social self.
I brought A and L to see Z this week and we put A in the crib with Z - they just squirmed and squirmed until they were pressed up against eachother and even stared at eachother. It was too cute. We've also found out that A, who is our laid back observer - can be pretty sneaky. Richard had A and L in the crib at home getting them ready for bed and A would reach over to L's face, pat around on her and then flick her paci out of her mouth! He said she did it more than once too. She'll be like me when I was younger and whisper something mean in her sister's ear so her sister hauls off and socks her and then gets the blame....
We had Babies Can't Wait come this week - which is our Early Intervention program for babies from birth to age 3. They brought a feeding therapist and a development specialist. Had it not been for the feeding tubes the girls would not have qualified for services because developmentally they are doing really well. They have great head control, they reach and grasp, they are starting to try to roll over, they track and follow well, and they can sit with support. Their pediatrician says they are still a mix of their gestational and chronological age so we can expect to see them do things a 3 month old would do as well as a 4 or 5 month old.
The most challenging thing with them is feeding - sometimes they suck the bottles right down and sometimes they scream and cry and won't take anything. I get so frustrated and depressed and wonder how long they're going to have these tubes? Of course Richard always brings me back to center and reminds me that there are so many other things that could be wrong with them that aren't. I get so caught up in everything I kept hearing repeatedly in the NICU - "they'll be behind, they will catch up but it takes time and they just need to grow". Well, if they eat, then they'll grow so when they don't eat I'm afraid they won't grow or they'll get dehydrated or they'll fall behind and it will be my fault. I feel terrible for saying this but it makes me mourn again for not having "typical" babies that suck down their bottles and you don't have to hit a total daily volume or total daily caloric intake. They are doing really well and I just have to remember that - and as Richard pointed out - they are improving in comparison to when they came home, it's just going to take a while, they still have lung disease and they still have cordination issues that will resolve with time.
As a way to try to relieve the stress of bottle feeding - because it can be a stressful event for the babies too when they're hungry but can't get organized enough to latch and suckle, we've started some spoon feeding. Their formula is so thick anyway, I always thought we might as well give it to them with a spoon. Avery has taken to it a bit better than Lily. Our Ped told us to start gradually just 10cc's once or twice a day.
6 months is pretty incredible - a lot of what we've experienced has become a blur, and yet some of the days and nights spent holding vigil at their bedsides still cuts into my heart. The amount of fear and worry that envelped those first weeks is almost indescribable. And now, to see these girls with their twinkling eyes and wide smiles, it is breathtaking. They change and grow so quickly right before our eyes...I'm afraid I'll miss something if I blink.
She was able to take a small bottle this week - the swallow study showed that she needs thickened feedings just like her sisters because she aspirated on thin liquids. Unfortunately I was not there for her first bottle, but I'll get to give her one soon I'm sure. OTPT said that her trunk control is imporving and she is even attempting to roll over when she's down on her floor mat. She had a few restless and fussy days this week which was due to the Reglan they put her on for reflux. I told them after the first day of her nurse telling me that Z was not herself that L had responded poorly to Reglan too - she became very irritable and did not sleep well. So, they dc'd the Reglan and her nurses report that she is back to her happy, social self.
I brought A and L to see Z this week and we put A in the crib with Z - they just squirmed and squirmed until they were pressed up against eachother and even stared at eachother. It was too cute. We've also found out that A, who is our laid back observer - can be pretty sneaky. Richard had A and L in the crib at home getting them ready for bed and A would reach over to L's face, pat around on her and then flick her paci out of her mouth! He said she did it more than once too. She'll be like me when I was younger and whisper something mean in her sister's ear so her sister hauls off and socks her and then gets the blame....
We had Babies Can't Wait come this week - which is our Early Intervention program for babies from birth to age 3. They brought a feeding therapist and a development specialist. Had it not been for the feeding tubes the girls would not have qualified for services because developmentally they are doing really well. They have great head control, they reach and grasp, they are starting to try to roll over, they track and follow well, and they can sit with support. Their pediatrician says they are still a mix of their gestational and chronological age so we can expect to see them do things a 3 month old would do as well as a 4 or 5 month old.
The most challenging thing with them is feeding - sometimes they suck the bottles right down and sometimes they scream and cry and won't take anything. I get so frustrated and depressed and wonder how long they're going to have these tubes? Of course Richard always brings me back to center and reminds me that there are so many other things that could be wrong with them that aren't. I get so caught up in everything I kept hearing repeatedly in the NICU - "they'll be behind, they will catch up but it takes time and they just need to grow". Well, if they eat, then they'll grow so when they don't eat I'm afraid they won't grow or they'll get dehydrated or they'll fall behind and it will be my fault. I feel terrible for saying this but it makes me mourn again for not having "typical" babies that suck down their bottles and you don't have to hit a total daily volume or total daily caloric intake. They are doing really well and I just have to remember that - and as Richard pointed out - they are improving in comparison to when they came home, it's just going to take a while, they still have lung disease and they still have cordination issues that will resolve with time.
As a way to try to relieve the stress of bottle feeding - because it can be a stressful event for the babies too when they're hungry but can't get organized enough to latch and suckle, we've started some spoon feeding. Their formula is so thick anyway, I always thought we might as well give it to them with a spoon. Avery has taken to it a bit better than Lily. Our Ped told us to start gradually just 10cc's once or twice a day.
6 months is pretty incredible - a lot of what we've experienced has become a blur, and yet some of the days and nights spent holding vigil at their bedsides still cuts into my heart. The amount of fear and worry that envelped those first weeks is almost indescribable. And now, to see these girls with their twinkling eyes and wide smiles, it is breathtaking. They change and grow so quickly right before our eyes...I'm afraid I'll miss something if I blink.
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